No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
