i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
