Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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