We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
