My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
