Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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