escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Four minutes until I can fart!
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
