just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
