I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
