she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize