but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
