I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
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