Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
