So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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