Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
