youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
