They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
