I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
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It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
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Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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