You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.