Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.