OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome