I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.