I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
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