i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
