Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
