Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
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