Will you blow on my dice?
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize