there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
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he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
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Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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