i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
