who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
i now understand why vodka
Ladies don't puke and tell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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