sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
