$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
