Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
