So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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