Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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