My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
