To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
