The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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