Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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