Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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