batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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