1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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