I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
