his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing