So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
my liver is dry heaving
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
