just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
