her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Randomize
