i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Randomize
