you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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