are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
