NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
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