I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize
