Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
