singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
My cat gives me a boner
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
