theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize