wrigley field is MILF paradise
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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