White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
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apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
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Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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