Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
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I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
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why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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