i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
What drink are we having for lunch?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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