I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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