dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
