cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
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